Romance: A Guide for the Socially Inept
by echotoast
Summary: If there wasn't already a book like that somewhere, Blake felt sure she could write it now. She hadn't ever seriously dated anyone before - so what made her think she could somehow pull the moves on Weiss Schnee of all people? [Monochrome.]
1. The 3 C's, and more Terrible Dating Tips

Pacing back and forth across the tiled flooring of the apartment, Blake cast a glare at her decidedly unhelpful blonde friend, who simply looked on with amusement as the black-haired faunus paced. After about another two minutes of agitated pacing, she wheeled about on her foot, jabbing an accusatory finger in Yang's face. "So you seriously mean to tell me you won't give me _any_ advice?!"

Much to Blake's dismay, Yang actually _laughed._ "Yep, that's what I said. I've got three life rules: One, nobody touches the hair, two, don't take any shit from any_one_ and three, don't fuck around in other people's love lives. Sorry man, but this is out of my hands." She said dismissively, then, seeing the other girl's distress, gave her an apologetic look. "Again, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to woo her on your own."

Blake groaned, a long, drawn out declaration of her frustrations, and went over to the couch, flopping onto it and burying her face in the pillow there, trying her best not to scream into it. Yang gave her a sympathetic pat on the back.

"What am I supposed to do for someone that can already get whatever she wants?! This is hopeless!" She all but wailed, weakly punching her long-time best friend in the side. "You suck!"

"More than you, that's for sure." The blonde laughed deviously, and, face flushed, Blake quickly removed her hands from the taller girl.

She made a face and made a show of wiping her hands off on her old band T-shirt. "Gross, I can't believe I've given you handshakes before, I don't know _where _you've been. You and your heterosexual lifestyle. So gross. " She snarked, and Yang laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't worry, I think it's safe to say I bat for every team by this point. I've been _plenty_ of places."

"Yang, this is not a contest!" Blake whined. With anyone else, she'd be mortified about the display she was currently giving, but she'd practically known Yang since they came out of the womb; there was no dignity in their friendship. Not now, or ever. "I don't need to know how much action you've gotten, I need to know _how_ you got them to go out with you! Or, you know, at least how you managed to win the trickier ones over… This first date is important, you know."

The blonde heaved a deep sigh. "Tell you what. Go ask Rubes. My little sis knows all my tricks, because my three rules don't apply to her, since she's my sister. She won't have any problems spilling – not to mention her type of romance is right up your alley." She grinned devilishly, and Blake braced herself for teasing. "That is to say, hand-holding."

The faunus girl rolled her eyes at the little quip, but accepted it. "Thanks, asshole." She gave Yang a quick grin as she made her way for the door, which Yang returned with her usual shit-eating version of said grin.

"Anytime, nerd!"

Blake breathed out a quick sigh as she closed the door behind her, a mixture of relief and contentment. She made her way down the hall towards the parking garage at a quick pace, steps echoing off the empty halls. It was to be expected, at 10pm. Still, she knew exactly where Ruby would be.

Wasting little time in kicking her jet-black motorcycle into gear, she started for the arcade. Ruby had been trying (read, failing) to get the high score on one of the games in there for months now, the top score still belonging firmly to some girl named Penny, who was kind of…infamous. Not in a bad way, or anything, but Penny was sort of known to, well, never leave the arcade. Rumors had spread that she must live inside one of the game cabinets, or something.

The black haired girl pulled up at the arcade knowing she would probably have to drag Ruby out by force. It didn't close until eleven, and while Blake would really rather not spill out her love life in a public area, she also wasn't too keen on waiting an hour for it to close and for Ruby to be kicked out anyways.

She walked in quietly, giving her bow a subtle tug as she saw a few people's eyes turn towards her. Ruby was stationed in the back of the arcade, in front of the game "_Grimm_ _Eclipse_", with multiple onlookers, and a familiar, taller brunette with bunny ears wrapping her arms around the shorter girl's waist. Oh, yeah, she almost forgot Ruby had landed herself a girl, too.

Her attention snapped to a redheaded girl next to her, who was muttering the combinations Ruby was using under her breath, occasionally tilting her head curiously as something happened on the screen. "She was supposed to take a left by two coordinates and hit the Beowolf with a double smash attack….." The girl mumbled, a slight, almost indistinguishable grin coming onto her face. Blake carefully sidestepped away from her, sneaking another glance at Ruby and her girlfriend.

'_How is everyone managing this except me?!'_ Blake whined internally, but externally she simply tapped Velvet's shoulder. "Mind if I butt in?"

Velvet shook her head. "Be my guest. I've been trying to pull her away to play some DDR forever by now; it wouldn't hurt if someone else took the console when she leaves it for a moment." She added the last part loudly, flicking an ear in the direction of the crowd in hopes that one of them would get the hint. Indeed, a line of people holding quarters nodded sagely at the suggestion.

For the umpteenth time that night, Blake rolled her eyes, and unceremoniously pulled Ruby away from the game cabinet by her iconic red hoodie.

"H-hey, hey, hey! Wait, I was – I was so close! Noooooooooooooo!" Ruby let out an agonized cry, as if she could feel it when her avatar was quickly devoured by a horde of the monsters in the game, the bird ones Blake recognized as Nevermores. "Blake, how could you! Have you no soul? Are you actually a Grimm? Why would you do such a thing?!"

Blake disregarded the questions, pulling the couple outside of the arcade and towards her motorcycle. She gestured to the sidecar and then the two. "Which of you is riding on the back, and which is taking the 'car?" Velvet hesitantly stepped towards the sidecar.

"I don't ride motorcycles as often, so I think I'd feel better in here…" She trailed off purposefully, and the other two girls simply nodded their agreement, Ruby pressing a quick kiss to Velvet's forehead once she'd sat down in the sidecar before hopping onto the back of the motorcycle herself.

If nothing else, Blake was glad she had friends that didn't question her until they arrived at her apartment. It would have been a pain to drive with two whining girls on the motorcycle with her.

"So," Ruby asked finally, once they'd gotten safely into Blake's home, "Why'd you kidnap us from the arcade?" From behind her, near the doorway, Velvet perked up, and moved to stand behind her girlfriend, clearly interested in the conversation.

Well, there was no point wasting anyone's time. "I need to know how to plan a date, and you're my best bet. Yang wouldn't spill any tips, so I thought maybe Ruby knew, and it works out even better considering you two have been together for a while."

Velvet's interest was piqued. "Oh, you're going on a date!" She exclaimed, clasping her hands together like a proud mother, "Who's the lucky one?"

The black-haired faunus tried to blank-face the question, succeeding fairly well as the brown-haired faunus tried her best to get her to spill it. She knew that if Ruby got involved and gave her those puppy-dog eyes, it would all be over. And Velvet knew, too. "I'll offer you mercy if you tell me now," She warned.

Blake narrowed her eyes. She could do this. She was ready.

Turning to Ruby, Velvet gave the younger girl a short thumbs up, which was returned before said girl was stationed directly in front of Blake. '_Don't look at her face. Don't look at the eyes.'_ Those life-sucking silver eyes, and their mysterious ability to get people to do whatever Ruby wanted, would not draw out her date's name without a fight. The two stared each other down for a bit. While this went on, Velvet raided Blake's fridge, taking out a bag of those small carrots and snacking on them as she waited, amused smile on her face.

But eventually, Blake was no match. Ruby's lip quivered, and her eyes seemed to get almost impossibly big, before Blake looked away guiltily, unwilling to face the music. One more glance over at her, and she admitted defeat. "Fine," Blake started sulkily. "I'll tell you who I'm going on a date with if you promise not to be weird about it. _And_," She added, "You _have_ to give me dating advice. Once I tell you, there's no backing out. You hear me?"

"Yeah! Loud and clear!" Ruby said enthusiastically, eyes shining with excitement. Beside her, Velvet nodded eagerly, still chewing on some of the carrots.

Blake took a deep breath, and exhaled. "My date…is Weiss Schnee."

Velvet almost choked on her snack.

Ruby's jaw had dropped, and she still had enough of her wits about her to shout even as she tried to keep Velvet from choking to death. "Blake! Oh my god!"

"I have a good reason…?" Blake tried weakly. It was a weak attempt because it was a lie. It wasn't a matter of life or death, or even a matter of finding information. She just wanted to go out with the pretty girl she'd met at the art showing down in Vale; the fact that she'd exchanged numbers and planned a date with a _Schnee_ hadn't even crossed her mind until she got home that night. And it damn near gave her a heart attack when she did realize.

So now, of course, she was scrambling for any scraps of dating tips she could get, since they'd planned to meet up tomorrow and have a fun night out, or, whatever the right term was.

"What kind of reason is good enough to justify – you know what, nevermind, I'm just surprised, I thought you hated the SDC….what happened?" Velvet finally recovered enough to be curious, tipping her head to the side, and Ruby mimicked the action, the two looking at Blake like confused children.

"Don't get me wrong, I still hate the SDC. Just, not, her…? I just – ugh, I don't know! She's hot, isn't that reason enough?!" The black haired girl crossed her arms, frustrated with her friends. Or maybe she was really just frustrated with herself….

Velvet let out a sigh, like she was resigning herself to the issue. "Okay, okay, we did say we'd help…but before that, I need to know: does she know you're a faunus? I don't think it would go over well if you get to…err, _that point_ of a relationship, and it just comes out unexpectedly. _Especially_ with her."

Blake looked away, not willing to admit that Velvet was right and not willing to make eye contact with the other faunus. "Well, no, but…I can make it work! Trust me, I'll tell her on the first date, and I'm _sure_ it will go over well, and if it doesn't –"

"I'll beat her up for you!" Ruby cut in, raising her arm in a fist pump. Blake shot her a look. Ruby sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "I wanted to be in on the conversation…." She muttered lamely. Velvet gave her a reassuring smile and rubbed her shoulder a little. Ruby blushed. Velvet moved in for a kiss, and then –

"…By all means, just make out in my apartment. When you're done, I could still _really_ use that dating advice, but hey, it's whatever." Blake said dryly, and the couple jolted, taking a break from cuddling each other to death.

"R-right! Dating advice!" Velvet stammered, ears flattened momentarily as she nervously laughed off the jibe at herself and Ruby's weak flirting. "Ahem. Dating advice, right." She spoke more clearly the second time, then pushed Ruby in front of Blake, since the younger (and shorter) girl had been hiding behind her. "Ruby, why don't you give our friend some dating advice! I have to uh, pee. Yeah. Over there. In the bathroom. Be right back!"

Once the brunette had evacuated the room, Blake looked to Ruby expectantly, raising an eyebrow.

Ruby shifted around on her feet nervously, before shaking her head, and looking up with new determination. "Alright! If you wanna woo this Weiss chick, you gotta keep the three C's in mind, got it?!"

"The three….C's?" Blake repeated, wondering what the term could possibly mean.

Ruby just nodded sagely in response, crossing her arms confidently and sticking her chest out a little, eyes closed to finish the pose. "Yeah, three C's! Clean, Cute, and Cookies! Duh."

"I need actual advice, Ruby. Though I appreciate the thought, could you maybe just repeat Yang's?" Blake tried helplessly. Ruby quickly shook her head, dropping out of the 'cool guy' pose instantaneously.

"No, no, just hear me out! I don't know if Yang's, err, _go-getter_ style, is really your thing. So just consider these, too, okay? I promise I'll tell you what she said too if you really think they're bad." She paused to emphasize it, looking to Blake until she received a nod from the older girl that meant she could continue. She grinned and straightened up, pretending to be a teacher. "Ahem. First, clean – just make sure you like nice for the date and all, it's basically common sense! If you can, try to smell nice too, though. Second is cute, which is pretty self-explanatory, and the third is cookies because everybody likes a little gift, y'know? It doesn't _have_ to be cookies, but most people are down for a few sweets, and it's definitely a _sweet_ little gesture….get it?"

"Ruby, just…no. That was a bad pun. I guess the advice part isn't terrible, though." Blake mused. She tried to imagine how the date would go that way, picturing the scene in her mind.

She would ask to meet up with Weiss in front of the movie theater, a bag of pre-prepared sweets in hand from the bakery nearby. She'd present them to the white-haired girl, who would eye them curiously and ask, _'Did you make these yourself?'_

Blake, being the dashing and honest young woman she was, would reply in her most attractive tone, '_No, I got them at the bakery for fifteen ninety-five because everything I cook ends up as a pile of ashes in the oven.'_ Weiss would slap her and leave.

"I need Yang's dating advice." Blake said abruptly, her face red as a tomato, as if she'd received an actual slap. Seeing Ruby's dejected look, she quickly clarified. "I just don't think I can go for your cutesy approach, is all! I mean, I'm not really….the 'cutesiest' of people…." She trailed off awkwardly and Ruby nodded in a slow understanding.

"Hmmm…I guess you're right, I should know, after that one time I tried to get you to dress up as a magical girl with me for Halloween. I didn't think it was even possible to look so deadpan with that many frills and sparkles on the outfit!" The redhead recalled, and Blake was forced to remember the incident herself in vivid detail. It was horrible. Yang had practically bust a gut laughing when she saw her come out with Ruby, and other trick-or-treaters actually _ran away_ from her. Worst. Halloween. Ever.

She hurriedly tried to change the topic. "Could we _not_ talk about my chronic case of resting bitch face less than twenty-four hours before my date?"

"Aww, why not?" Ruby teased, leaning against the wall with a cheesy grin. It wasn't the same level of cocky ridiculousness that Yang pulled off in her grins, but let's just say Blake was definitely seeing the family resemblance. "And it's not a _total_ bitch face, just a 'moderately disinterested, probably thinking about something way different', type face! Which is probably at least a little bit better."

Blake remained silent. It didn't take Ruby long to start squirming.

A few more moments of silence, and Ruby cracked. "Aww, man, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, don't cry! I'm _so-r-r-yyyy...!_" The girl slumped into Blake, startling the black-haired faunus.

"Jeez, you look like _you're_ about to cry. Calm down, Ruby, I was just teasing you back."

"Oh." Embarrassed, Ruby straightened herself up. "Right, then, I'll get to Yang's dating advice, but remember, maybe don't take all of it completely seriously? Because, she follows this stuff like, religiously, but she's also, y'know. Yang. It's her normal personality."

Steeling herself for the advice, Blake nodded, and Velvet drifted back into the room, looking a bit calmer. She positioned herself behind Ruby, an arm slung around her girlfriend's shoulder. Ruby grinned up at her before getting on with the explaining.

"Alright, here are Yang's dating pointers. One, pick a good venue for your date! She says preferably one that will get them in the mood for…uh, y'know. Doin' the do." Velvet coughed, and Ruby flushed but continued. "B-but mostly just anywhere that would suit the date's interest! Two, have a lot of back-ups for failed advances. Date doesn't want to kiss you yet? Say you were offering the candy, and make them think _their_ head was in the gutter, and that you weren't 'totally trying to get some tongue action'." She put air quotes around that part, so Blake took it to mean those had been Yang's exact words.

Which, frankly, didn't surprise her.

"Anyways! Three was, ummm….three was to make sure you 'bring your A game', which I think just means you're supposed to flirt whenever you can? Basically she explained it to me as look really attractive and hit on them whenever the opportunity arises. Now that I think about it, that's…that's pretty much what all of her advice sums up to. Huh." Ruby tipped her head to the side, apparently thinking about it hard.

Blake did the same, bringing a hand to her chin and trying to imagine how her date would go if she tried to use it on the date.

She would ask Weiss to meet her at dinner, probably the 80s themed one with the jukeboxes. Ahead of time, she would put in about ten dollars' worth of the most romantic tracks she could find among their weird music collection and probably end up with like five tracks from some crappy 70s throwback movie, that was now an 80s throwback movie.

Weiss would show up fashionably late, and give an excuse about business keeping her from coming, and Blake would reply with a grin and a wisecrack about having 'other' business to attend to later. Weiss would probably take it as a joke and laugh.

In real time, Blake smiled. This date wasn't going as bad as the last. She continued the scenario in her mind.

Weiss would probably be wearing something attractive seeing as it was a dinner date and not an afternoon one. Blake would compliment her on it, and then fish around her memories of all the times she'd awkwardly third-wheeled Yang's dates for any successful pick-up lines she had seen in action. '_Nice legs, babe. What time do they open?'_ Offended, Weiss would slap her and leave.

Blake winced. "Shit, so that probably won't work either…dammit…."

Meanwhile, her friends were looking on in confusion. "Blake? Hello? You kind of zoned out, there…" Velvet trailed off uncertainly, and Blake was forced to snap back to reality, except she was desperate now.

"Velvet! Please tell me you have dating advice!" She all but launched herself at the taller girl, placing her hands on her shoulders despairingly.

"W-wait, what?!" The rabbit faunus backed herself up to a wall anxiously, and Blake pursued her and got up in her personal space, eyes pleading. She needed this dating advice. Bad.

"Ummm….be yourself?" She tried weakly. Blake looked at her incredulously, and Ruby just edged closer to the two, probably torn between being the moderator or getting flustered over Velvet getting flustered. "No, I'm serious!" Velvet asserted, and Blake backed down a little, shame-faced but still confused with the advice she was getting. "Look, if you're this worried about it, and nobody's advice sounds good enough to you, then why don't you just try planning the date how _you'd_ do it? You didn't like Ruby's puppy love approach – as cute as I think it is – and I don't think you've got Yang's gung-ho, center-of-attention party crasher attitude in you, so maybe just, do whatever you want?"

"That…that actually hadn't occurred to me." Well jeez, Velvet sure knew how to make a girl feel stupid. It probably wasn't intentional, though. Frustrated, Blake moved over to the couch to take a seat and think about it for a second.

Seeing this, Ruby hurried over to the couch, quite literally dragging Blake off it. "Ooooh, no you don't! Stop trying to micromanage how your date is going to pan out, and just pick a spot and let it all happen tomorrow! It's like, eleven thirty, and you're moody when you don't get enough sleep, so if you don't chill out and rest _now_ your date will suffer for it no matter _what_ you end up doing."

Velvet hummed her agreement, checking the time for herself and then glancing at the door.

Blake sighed, but gave the duo a quick smile. "Good point. And I assume you two are both pretty tired by now, as well. Thanks for the tips; sorry for dragging you two to my house." She said apologetically.

They shrugged. "Well, I raided your fridge," Velvet started, and then Ruby flashed something suspiciously round and crumbly from out of her pocket and agreed, "And I raided your cookie jar! So we pretty much break even, heheh. But seriously, don't sweat it. All that's left to do now is wish you good luck! We'll see you later!" The shorter girl gave a mock salute to Blake, tugging Velvet out on the way with her – their apartment was only just down the hall, anyways, so it's not like Blake had inconvenienced them terribly.

They left, and she stayed standing in the kitchen area for a little bit, before heaving a deep sigh and going to get into her pajamas. Ruby was right. If she was going to be any good tomorrow, she needed sleep now.

Her last thought before drifting off was to wonder if she should have set an alarm.

* * *

**AN: Hooray for introduction chapters! So, more about the story, this is basically just real life AU except I kept the faunus in because of Super Important Plot Reasons (read, I just like keeping them in these things I'm so soRRY). Anyways, I probably won't have much of an update schedule for this, but chapter two is already finished so I'm really just trying to bide my time here. You know what they say, inspiration hits fast and hard, and all that. I like to have chapters to fall back on in case of writer's block. Even if I usually get too impatient to keep the back up chapters un-posted, heheh. In other news, I'm not really loving the title but it's the best I could come up with, so let's call it a working title for now. Anyways, I'll respond to reviews with questions/corrections or constructive criticism in them with PMs unless you a) ask me not to, in which case I'll respect your wishes, b) are on anonymous, or c) have a question that I feel like answering down in the AN section of the next chapter, so that everyone can see the answer. Sooo uh, that about wraps it up! Thanks for reading, hopefully see you next chapter!  
**


	2. Like a Backwards Hose

Blake woke up blearily to the sound of her phone going off, the text tone sounding off right next to her bed. She groggily rolled over to pick it up, blinking the last of her sleep away as she squinted at the message.

'_Hello, Blake. You were hoping to meet up around noon, right? We never discussed location, so I thought maybe we could meet up at the sushi place…' _Blake grinned lazily at the idea of being in a building with so much fish, before getting to the rest of the message. '…_down by the Pine Diner. You know the one, I assume. Anyway, I'm looking forward to our outing. See you soon!'_

Hmm, now that she mentioned it, she probably should start getting ready, she only had an hour or two….Blake hummed thoughtfully and checked the time.

"Fuck!" _Twenty minutes?!_ "N-no way! I must still be sleeping!" She frantically ran about her room, even as she tried to convince herself she had more time. "No way in hell is it already 11:40. Yeah, it must just be a mix-up! That's all. I must've set my phone time wrong."

The black-haired girl hastily shoveled some cereal into her mouth, barely noticing the fake fruity flavor, and checked the time again. She had ten minutes, and she spent five fussing over her hair and ears. Ridiculous as it was, she spent more time on the latter, even though she wound up chickening out and covering them with the bow before she got onto her bike to leave. But it was only a 'for-now' thing, she justified.

She was going to tell her date the truth, and show her the proof, and damn it, she was going to look flawless when she did. The motorcycle helmet didn't really do much for that part, she would admit that much, but maybe the helmet hair would be charming?

Blake could picture it now, she'd pull up on her bike and her date would –

Nope, nope, noooope. She was _not_ going down that road again. The faunus quickly shook her head to clear any thoughts of micro-managing the date aside, and hesitantly parked her bike nearby, pulling the chain out of a compartment under the seat and clipping it on. She could already see Weiss' stark white hair through one of the windows in the sushi place she'd mentioned – _Smiling Bluefin._ She liked it because it was named for their _awesome _tuna, but also because some of her friends worked there.

Evidently, Weiss could see her through the window too, because she came out of the restaurant. "Sorry I'm late," Blake said, after checking her watch and finding herself three minutes past 12:00. She finished locking her motorcycle in place and stood up to greet Weiss properly. "Had more traffic than I expected. Nice to see you again."

"You too." Weiss replied with a nod, though her eyes were more focused on the vehicle. "I didn't peg you as the motorcycle type." She commented, and while it seemed a bit admiring, the lack of any real tone made Blake anxious.

"Is…is that a problem?" She asked pensively, and thankfully Weiss shook her head. Hell, she even smiled a little. Blake totally had this first date in the bag.

"Heh, no, I was just a bit surprised is all. I've never ridden one, but I hear they're interesting. Anyway, we should probably go grab our seats before someone else does. Come on." Wordlessly, she followed the white haired girl into the sushi bar, taking a seat next to her at the counter and waiting idly for a waiter to come.

After a moment or two, she decided small talk was inevitable and decided to get a head start on it. "So, I know we've already covered the basics and all, but, just for a refresher, what kind of stuff do you think is fun on dates?"

Weiss shrugged, taking a small sip of her water as she thought about it. Blake noticed that she swirled the glass around while she thought, and filed the information for later. "I don't really know, actually. Most of my other dates I find…a bit lacking."

'_Great, that's comforting…'_ Blake muttered internally, but nodded slightly in response, wanting Weiss to go on.

"I mean, it's not like they don't try, and most of them are fairly nice, but, I don't really arrange my own dates too often. It sometimes puts me in a bit of a sour mood." She admitted, sounding like she'd been thinking this for quite some time. Might even be putting it lightly. "So I never pay attention to what I like and don't like. If it's any useful information, you're the first girl I've gone on a date with."

"Huh, guess I'd better set the bar high then." Blake smiled. "It'd be a shame for you to give up on a whole gender just because I'm a lousy date planner." Smooth save there.

Weiss gave a short laugh. "Yeah, it would. So far I think this will go well though. Call it intuition."

'_More like intimidation. I'd better not screw this up. First date in years and it's with this girl. Gods help me._'Blake sent up a silent prayer to whatever deities might exist, even if she didn't actually actively believe in any of them, and refrained from letting out a sigh of relief when their waiter finally showed up.

"Ayyyy, Blakester!" Hmm. Maybe she should be a little less relieved. An excited looking blonde was grinning at the two, hands placed flat on the counter as he leaned in, and tail waving around behind him. She almost wanted to laugh at his expression, but reminded herself she was in good company.

So she settled for rolling her eyes and stifling the laugh. "Hi, Sun."

He leaned against the counter in Blake's space, looking from her to Weiss. If he knew who the white haired girl was, he didn't show it. "So," He started casually, "You're the one taking my little baby Blake out on a date, huh? Gotta warn you, she's a lot less attractive when she's stuffing tuna down her face at maximum velocity. It's like watching a hose spray water, except backwards. It's kinda scary."

"Sun!" Blake was mortified. Her face had flushed just about as red as it could get, and considering how she was already on edge, it was _definitely_ noticeable. Weiss had the good grace not to comment, but she did laugh again.

Blake shot her friend a death glare, and he shrugged. "Aaaaanyways, I'll make sure to check on you two more than everyone else, since you're basically the most interesting people around for now. I'm assuming Blake wants an order of negitoro, and you would like….?" Sun trailed off at the end, tail flicking to the side as he waited for an answer from Weiss.

She looked over the menu distractedly. "I'll just get what she's getting."

Sun gave the two a mock salute. "On it!" He turned around and shouted across the kitchen, hands cupped around his mouth, "Oi, Sage!"

A pause. "_What?!"_

"Two orders of the cat food!" Blake stiffened and gripped the table, but didn't say anything. Weiss would think it was an in-joke, probably.

"_Oh, that! Yeah, I'll get on it, tell Blake I said hi!"_

"She can hear you, dumba- ah, wait, I'm at work." He remembered abruptly, and turned back around to face the two girls sheepishly. "Hahah, anyway, I probably oughta be getting back to that. Don't let anyone else take you your food though!"

The blonde dashed off to the next few customers, leaving the girls to themselves. "So…you know him?"

The black-haired girl nodded. "Since I was a kid. He can be a bit hyper, but he's one of my best friends, and one of the best guys I know." She tipped her head to the side, and tacked on the next part as an afterthought. "Any first impressions?"

"Seems like a bit of a troublemaker," Weiss sniffed, and for a second Blake was caught between defending him and trying to smooth it over like she knew her other, more people-smart friends like Pyrrha or Ren might try to do, but allowed herself to relax a little as her date continued. "But I'll keep what you said in mind. He does kind of remind me of someone I know, though…..even if they're only barely alike." She mused.

Blake nodded, content with the answer, and took to taking sips of her drink while she stalled for a way to start up a new conversation. But apparently, Weiss beat her to the punch. "We didn't get to exchange much personal stuff last time we met, you know. Just talked about the art – a conversation I thoroughly enjoyed, don't worry – but I have gotten around to wondering what you're like outside of seducing young women at art fairs."

The taller girl blushed, setting her water down and clearing her throat. "Yeah, I suppose I could say the same about you. I don't mind a little information exchange."

"What's there to exchange about me?" Weiss wondered aloud, frowning slightly. She didn't seem mad, just confused. "My life is basically an open book. Literally, you could probably find a book with my every step since birth recorded in it. I don't get a lot of privacy." She mused, and Blake detected a hint of bitterness there.

So, trying to lighten the mood, she shrugged. "Doesn't mean I've read it. And besides, I'm sure they neglected to mention some of the important things…like that cute pout you did when you realized it wasn't going to be a one-way interrogation." She said smugly.

That got Weiss flustered. Blake noted the reaction and how she'd provoked it for later; hopefully she'd need it then. That is, if this date went well and if Weiss didn't mind the whole faunus thing and if Sun didn't do anything to butt in and if Weiss didn't end up being straight, after all and – whoa, okay, that was a few too many ifs. She sighed internally and resolved to cross those bridges when she got to them.

Deciding she'd left Weiss flustered long enough, she spoke up again. "I guess you can go first, since it was your idea though."

"Naturally." Weiss huffed, and Blake thought it was cute the way she tried to act like she hadn't been red as a beet not ten seconds ago. "Alright, then. First question – A backwards hose?"

Damn it, Sun. Now Blake had to make a hasty recovery. "W-well, I just really like sushi! And tuna! Mostly tuna, but, yeah." She coughed awkwardly into her elbow. "I still chew with my mouth closed and everything, Sun was just exaggerating. He does that, hahah. Exaggerate. About me. And food. Mostly me."

Great, now Weiss was looking at her weir- oh, she was laughing! So, was that a good thing or a bad thing? '_Just get on with your question so this can end, idiot.'_ Blake scolded herself. "So, my turn. Are you really in the habit of wearing a tiara out in the town?"

"Do you not like it?" Weiss shot back, though she looked a little anxious about that, raising a hand to fidget with the mentioned accessory.

"No, no, it's cute, I was just wondering why." '_It might come off as a little arrogant, that's all. Even if it kind of is cute__.__' _Blake kept the last part to herself, and kept her eyes focused on the heiress, who looked around a little before seemingly relaxing and preparing to answer.

"It's a bit stupid, really," She admitted, "But I used to like dressing up a lot as a kid, and I got in the habit of wearing this dinky little thing –" Blake had to raise an eyebrow at the idea that Weiss would refer to a tiara that was quite obviously made out of _real freaking silver_ as 'dinky', but didn't interrupt, "Out of the house with me and I just, uh, didn't get _out_ of the habit of doing it. My older sister still compliments me on it, hence, I still wear it."

Sweet, a two-for one. Blake got to hear a childhood story _and_ got to learn about Weiss' older sister. She silently prayed said older sister was nothing like Yang, because one time Blake went on a date with Ruby and Yang was _relentless._ Just thinking about it sent shivers up her spine, and it was Ruby that asked _her_ to the dance. Had it been the other way around, Blake thought she very well might not have left that school dance alive. They weren't even together. Or, as Nora would say, _together_-together. She was just following her around because she didn't have the heart to send her off to the dance alone…with three other friends….actually, come to think of it, why the hell did she even go to that dance, Ruby would have been just fine! And it would've saved her an earful from Yang…oh, shit, Weiss was still talking. Pay attention, quick.

Having zoned out for a second, she almost missed Weiss' next question, but thankfully caught it in time so as not to have to get a repeat. That would probably be a turn off for Weiss. Not listening, that is. "So, my turn again. How did you meet Mr. Eavesdropper over there?" The white-haired girl motioned to Sun, who had quickly spun around from listening in on them two tables over and was wiping off an already cleaned counter, whistling an incredibly conspicuous tune. Damn it, Sun.

'_Well, this might prove a good opening for telling her about the whole faunus thing, so I guess Sun was useful here after all. I hope she doesn't flip, though.'_ She thought dryly, then shook her head in preparations to respond.

"Like I said, we've been friends since we were really little. Our parents knew each other before they had us, so they arranged playdates and stuff for us while they went out for faunus rights rallies and stuff – before the two of us were old enough to really participate, anyways." She took a breath and tried her best to ignore the raised eyebrow she was getting, instead plowing through the story. Sun apparently knew what was coming, because he crept over to the counter behind Blake and gave her a curious look, glancing from Weiss to Blake quickly. So, apparently he _did_ know who Weiss was. Who would've thought? Anyhow, she kept talking.

"We liked to keep each other's minds off what was happening at the sites with our parents, and later when we actually joined in, we liked to slink off to the side and get food when things started to get…._unpleasant_, y'know? But any other time, we were front-liners. Once some guy started getting a bit violent with me, and Sun made off with his backpack as a distraction while I grabbed my mom. We just started being really good friends since then, I guess."

To Weiss' credit, she stayed quiet during the story. She opened her mouth, and Blake prepared herself for questioning, but Sun managed to butt in at the exact right and wrong moment all at once. "Hey, give me some credit here! 'we've been friends since then _I guess_,' really Blake? I thought we were pals! You stink." To prove it he stuck his tongue out at her, "I'm going to have to go find Yang and tell on you. She'll get a kick out of it, I bet." She stifled a laugh and shoved him away.

"Knock it off Sun, she was going to say something." Blake gestured to Weiss and managed to regain her composure, and Sun nodded, then carefully stepped off. She watched him. "Oh, so _now_ he realizes what private conversations are." She muttered, just loud enough for Weiss to hear and just casually enough for her to know it was a joke.

Blake returned her full attention to her date. "Sorry about that, go on with what you were about to say."

"You _do_ know who I am, right?" The actual question was obvious – why would someone in the habit of going to rights protests go on a date with _her?_ A question Blake had asked herself a few times, honestly.

She answered honestly though. She tried not to lie. Except for every day with her bow, but it didn't count as lying, just, misleading. She encouraged people to make assumptions and she didn't bother to correct them, that was all. Definitely not lying. Just, partial truth telling?

Who cares, she was telling the truth with words and that was the big part of honesty so anyone who disagreed could _shove it_.

"Well, actually, I didn't. I didn't recognize you or your name until I got home that night and almost passed out on my bed. I was surprised, honestly, and yes, I guess if I _had_ known, our conversation might have turned out a little differently….frankly, I probably would have tried to avoid you, as lame as that sounds. But I think I'm pretty lucky things turned out the way they did. Unless, you know, you've got, something to add…" She trailed off with a nervous laugh. "Besides, taking things at face value isn't the best tactic when you're trying to secure a dinner date with someone."

This is it. The big moment. The one that probably makes or breaks the date. Just gotta get it over with, it's like ripping off a bandaid, it's _no big deal_, seriously she shouldn't even hesitate, just say it and get it out of the way so that later – christ, she needed to stop watching those terrible rom-coms with Pyrrha and her boyfriend. All she had to do was be rational about it, no beating around the bush.

"Speaking of which, I might have forgotten to let something slip. It didn't occur to me at the time because I was all excited, but it's probably better to get this out of the way here. Our food should be just about ready by now, so if this _does_ affect the date, I'll be more than happy to just grab a to-go box and let you finish your meal here in peace." Weiss was giving her a strange look, so Blake just went for the straightforward approach and took the bow off.

It would be okay if she got a few stares, as long as one of the people ogling her was the girl she was trying to date. She didn't say anything, and for a second considered avoiding eye contact, but then she cleared her mind of the thought. No date was worth feeling ashamed, and she wouldn't start now. Blake kept a pretty straight face and tried to face Weiss head on.

The other girl seemed to be evaluating her for a moment. Her expression was sharper than it had been earlier, but there were hints of…what? Was she impressed with the honesty, or could she just not look even a fraction more critical and Blake was just imagining the slight softness in the way her eyebrows furrowed?

Was she really that worked up, so as to imagine things? She gave the slightest of smiles, a nervous, but friendly invitation for actual response.

"Took you long enough." Weiss said, and Blake almost did a double-take. But then she reminded herself to keep her cool in front of the date, and tipped her head to the side curiously, hoping for Weiss to elaborate. Which she did, although a little pensively. "My father goes through my phone after I go out, to keep tabs on me. He found your number and investigated."

"That's…nice." Definitely not a little controlling or anything. But she didn't want to offend Weiss by saying that last bit, not when it looked like the date was going to continue after all. Thankfully, the white haired girl scoffed and shook her head.

"I can think of a few other words for it. Anyways, he looked you up in the yellowpages –" Holy shit, people actually still used those? Blake made a mental note to request to be taken out of the phone books as soon as she got home, "And told me not to go on the date."

Blake raised an eyebrow. "But you came anyways."

"Yeah, I guess I did." While they were focusing on each other, Blake heard Sun carefully deposit their food in front of them and then take off for the back room. Probably to gossip with Sage and Scarlet, she mused dryly.

Weiss cleared her throat and turned to face the food, checking her phone before flagging down another waiter and quietly requesting a to-go box. "It seems I have an appointment soon, so I'm going to have to cut this date short." She said apologetically, shooting Blake a weak smile. "How about next time we meet at your place, okay?"

"S-sure." She agreed numbly. Weiss stood up and moved to walk out of the restaurant, stopping at the door to give her a quick wave.

After that, Blake mostly just sat there for a while.

"If you keep your mouth open like that, you'll catch flies, you know." Aaand there was Sun. He moved around the bar counter and took a seat next to Blake, who had moved on to scowling at him. "What happened?"

"What happened was, I landed another date." She informed him smugly. Really, it was more like Weiss told her they were going to have a second date and left, but still, technically speaking part of the credit could go to Blake for being dateable. At least, she could pretend it did.

"Nice! High five!" A pause. "Okay, no high five, that's cool, cool." Sun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, embarrassed at having been left hanging, and made a swift change of topic. "You should eat your sushi before I decide to do it for you."

Blake jolted. "No way!" She placed her hands protectively over the dish, and he laughed.

"Like I thought. Anyway, _some of us_ have to work right now," He said dismissively when he saw the look Scarlet was giving him from one of the tables nearby, "So I'm gonna get back to it. But you're texting me about your next date! Don't think I won't go to your apartment if you don't spill the beans!"

She rolled her eyes, and promptly set about devouring her sushi – slowly, for once, so that Sun wouldn't have the satisfaction of teasing her about it in front of her dates ever again. But then, if the second date was going to be at her apartment, that wouldn't be a problem. Blake smiled.

The second date, she decided, would probably be a piece of cake.

* * *

**AN: That went surprisingly well, didn't it? Also, have you SEEN the yellowpages website? Like seriously, I didn't know they had one, but they make it _waaaaaay_ too easy to find personal info. If I were Blake, I'd want my name out of those listings too.  
**

**Anyway, moving on from that, my weak resolve couldn't stop me from posting this chapter when I had it all nice and written already, so it may be a longer wait than two days for chapter three since that _isn't_ complete, but, hopefully it will still be quick. Also, to answer anon Amatou's question, Blake is characterized like that because she's in her best friend's apartment, and it's probably a pretty familiar environment for her. People get goofy with their friends when they're comfortable, right? Also it's a humor story, and Blake has a tendency to be stressed or upset a lot in canon, but when she isn't she's shown to have a pretty good sense of humor (otherwise she wouldn't deign to get involved in that ludicrous food fight, right?). So yeah, there's my little character ramble, sorry for being lame.  
**

**As always, I love feedback, so drop a review if you've got questions, comments, people you want me to look up on the yellowpages - just kidding - and so on. Thanks for reading!**


	3. How Not to Cook & the Bad Secret Wingman

"So? What do you guys have to say?" Out of breath and still about as wound up as she ever got, Blake fidgeted on her feet as she stood beside her friends at the arcade. Ruby had requested they meet up to hang out here, and since nobody, Yang included, was any match against Ruby when she wanted something, they had all just agreed and grouped together there.

Pyrrha couldn't make it, presumably too busy with her new boyfriend to come, but she did sound genuinely sorry when she called to say she couldn't come, so it was probably something serious like meeting the parents.

That aside, it was a pretty average outing, OK-ish at best since half the time their group was split up and playing video games separately, but when they were all lumped together as a group (surrounding Ruby and that damnable _Grimm Eclipse_ game that she _refused_ to get off of for even a second, for fear her skills would somehow drastically worsen over the two minutes it took her to let someone else have a turn) a certain someone by the name of Yang had made the mistake of asking Blake how her date went.

She proceeded to give them the whole story, not sparing any details. _At all._

By the time she was finished, Yang and Nora's jaws had both dropped, Ren was looking at her like he'd somehow managed to fall asleep standing up with his eyes open, Velvet had left midway through for a 'bathroom break' and come back with time to spare (much to the brunette's distress), Sun was backing away slowly and Ruby…..Ruby was still playing that game.

Apparently, the game also distracted her from the awkwardness in the air, because Ruby was the first and only to break it. "Well, geez, Blake…..Doesn't seem to me like you had many problems after all that fuss you kicked up."

"I was _not_ kicking up a fuss, I was just –"

"Nervous, yeah, yeah, we know." Yang cut in, seeming highly pleased with her younger sister for breaking the silence. "But at the same time, as your friend, I gotta ask…..aren't you a little, I dunno, skeptical?" Blake raised an eyebrow at the question, and Yang continued, almost seeming nervous herself. "Like, I get it, you're having a lucky break here and I don't blame you for not reading into things too much when you've got this totally _smoking hot_ girl agreeing to go out with you, but still, I – I just…ah, nevermind. Just be careful."

Blake wasn't really one to let things like this slide though. She was too curious not to. "No, no, keep going. What did you want to tell me?"

"Err, I just thought I might warn you, since I really care about you, in a friend sorta way….I just feel like – no, I just think Weiss might be….err.." Bashful usually wasn't a word that could be used to describe Yang, and yet, there she was. Thankfully this awkwardness was not as impenetrable as the last, and Ren seemed to have pulled himself out of whatever trance he was in previously.

The pink eyed boy looked at Yang critically, then sighed deeply, like he knew he was about to step into something he didn't want to but was going to do it anyways, and turned to face Blake. "I believe," He started slowly, keeping an eye on both girls' reactions, "Yang thinks Weiss is using you as a means to get back at her father."

"Oh." While Blake took a moment to weigh her own thoughts on that, all their friends scattered, save Ruby, who probably wasn't even listening, and Yang, who was guiltily avoiding eye contact. "Well it's sweet of you to worry, but I'm sure I can handle it just fine."

"I know you can!" Yang agreed, with maybe a little too much vigor. She toned it down again with the next statement, though. "I know you can, but I still can't help thinking of shy little sixth grade Blake asking that Taurus boy to go to a dance with you. You cried for like, two days, and in the end it turns out he just didn't hear you 'cause you were so quiet! I don't want to see you upset for stupid reasons like that ever again, is all."

Blake flushed at the memory. Dust, that was awful. But she powered through it. "I'm not a kid anymore, even if I am a little shorter than you. We're adults now, and I'm going to date however I want."

Someone snorted next to them, and Blake was abruptly reminded they were in a public place.

"Are you sure you're trying to get with Weiss and not my sister?"

"_RUBY_!" Both of the older girls whirled around to face the girl, who flinched and, acknowledging her soon-to-be-demise, fled the scene and even her precious quarter's worth of play time on _Grimm Eclipse_, hiding behind that redheaded girl Blake recognized as the one that'd been muttering cheat codes or whatever before.

"Hide me! Please!" She whimpered, and then the redhead got the strangest expression on her face.

"Hide….you?" She muttered, clearly not getting it. "You mean from those two girls coming over here?"

Yang had stormed over to Ruby first, her big sister instincts apparently screaming for a lecture to be given, and grabbed the red-loving girl by her jacket's hood. "You eavesdropping little sneak…." She growled, and Ruby flinched.

"I wasn't eavesdropping! Just thinking out loud, before I came over here to hang out with my friend, hahaha, isn't that right, err…." Panicking, Ruby looked again to the redheaded girl, who just tipped her head to the side.

"Penny," She supplied slowly, still staring at Ruby like she was in the process of rapidly growing a second head.

Ruby nodded frantically. "Ahuh! Just comin over to see how Penny was doing!"

Penny gave her yet another curious look. "You also asked me to conceal you from these two girls."

"Because she's an eavesdropping little sneak!" Yang roared, tightening her grip on her younger sister's jacket. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were asking for me to take away your cookie stash."

"Nooooooooo!" While the cry might've been a bit short of heart-rending, Ruby was still despairing. Until, abruptly, she blinked. "Wait. I'm an _adult_ now, you can't even do that!" She grinned up at Yang deviously. "I don't live with you anymore and you don't know where my stash is, so _ha_! I can eavesdrop all I want."

"Velvet probably knows where your stash is though, and she lives with you." Blake pointed out, and her blonde friend nearly snapped her neck with how fast she turned her head to look over at the mentioned girl.

Ruby just looked mortified.

"Hey, Scarletina! You wouldn't mind helping me punish a certain little eavesdropper…"

"No no no no no…."

The abundant amount of noise the sisters were making gradually grew quieter as they moved further and further from Blake, and she sighed contentedly. "Problem solved. Now all I need to do is find a game that's unoccupied and -"

Nora bounced up from behind her. "Say, Blake! I have a really super important question about your date and you gotta answer it right now immediately so can you?"

A deep sigh. "Yeah, what is it?"

"If it's going to be at your house, doesn't that mean you're going to have to cook for her?" The redhead asked innocently.

….

"_Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!_" Now _that_ is a heart rending cry.

Penny observed the interaction curiously. "Wow, the arcade is incredibly lively today."

* * *

"This is hopeless!" For the second time in two days, Blake found herself pacing in front of Yang, whose head followed her movements like the most accurate of security cameras. "What was I _thinking_ agreeing to that?! Dinner at _my_ place? As in, I have to _make it_?! I can't cook! I can barely reheat a pack of instant noodles, Yang! Instant! Noodles!"

Yang opened her mouth to point something out, but closed it when Blake kept going. "This is a fucking _disaster_, ohhhh my gooood, I'm gonna die, she's gonna kill me, goodbye cruel world it was nice having a girlfriend for two days, thanks for that much I guess –"

"Blake, calm down, jeez!" The blonde interrupted, looking irritated. " Look, I'm sure you're just blowing things out of proportion –"

"You don't understand! My cooking skills are limited to half-burnt fucking _hamburger helper _packets, I can't cook for Weiss and her stupid rich people tastes!" She was just about ready to pull her hair out.

Yang sighed deeply. "Look, dude. If you think she's into you, you probably won't even eat much of the food. Gotta save room for _desert,_ if you catch my drift." Blake stiffened at the insinuation, but Yang just went on as if she hadn't just casually mentioned eating out _Weiss motherfucking Schnee_ and shrugged flippantly. "All you have to do is make the food _look_ nice, and she'll have to compliment you on it. No sweat, right? Just cover all the burnt bits with like, frosting or whatever. Problem solved."

"Hardly." Blake replied dryly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but there aren't exactly a whole lot of classy dinner foods that involve frosting. Unless you want me to give her a cake for dinner."

"Is that _not_ a thing people do?" Her friend asked incredulously. Blake groaned.

Sometimes she forgot that Yang was basically her own parental guardian from age seven and onwards. Of course she was used to eating shit like that for dinner; it's the same reason Ruby has such a horrendous sweet tooth. Their dad didn't supervise _anything_.

She resigned herself to responding without a comment on that. "Not for fancy dinners, Yang. Even _you_ should know that much."

"Err, right. My bad. Then, why not just get something pre-made? Like Costco sushi or something. Something cheap but acceptable in quality?"

"No." She replied flatly. "Teach me how to make something easy from scratch, like, umm…..mashed potatoes! Let's go with that. They look pretty easy to make, there's no way I can ruin them that badly, right?"

Two hours and one eldritch monstrosity of a confection later, Blake could say with perfect assurance that there was, in fact, a way to _seriously_ fuck up mashed potatoes.

Yang was gaping at the mess. "Holy shit, I think I saw a tentacle. What _is_ this? Why is it a _liquid_?"

"…..I don't think I should make mashed potatoes." Blake suggested quietly.

"You _think_?" Yang shot back, holding the foul food away from herself and making a face. "Okay, well, you figure out what you're gonna make, and I'm gonna go see if there's like, some sort of nuclear waste disposal I can dump this into. If we're lucky, we can save th-"

"Just dump it out." Blake cut in miserably, not wanting to be reminded of her failures. At least she had time to prepare, right?

A ping from her phone caught her attention. It was Weiss (saved in her phone as 'Girlfriend[?]).

'_Hi, I've been looking at my calendar and it seems I'm busy for the next few days, but I didn't want to leave you hanging after that rather abrupt end to our last date…do you think we could have dinner tonight? I'm sorry if it's inconvenient, I just wanted a chance to talk again.'_

Oh _come_ _on_. Blake was almost tempted to say that she wasn't at home, but then there was another ping. She looked down again.

It was a heart emoticon._  
_

…Fuck.

Blake responded hastily. '_No, it's no problem at all! Do you need me to send you my address? I live in an apartment complex –Emerald Forest Creek - so if you want, I can just meet you at the door and walk you back to my place.'_

'_That sounds lovely. Is 7:00 a good time?'_ Blake checked the clock. It was five now.

Should she? '_Seven works out great! See you then!_' As a second thought, she tacked a heart onto the end of hers too. Can't be left out, right? Right.

With that, she shut the scroll off. And promptly buried her face in a pillow she snagged from off the couch. Yang looked on with mild curiosity, having returned from dumping the failed mashed potatoes. "Whoa. What's up now?"

"My date is in two hours."

Yang blinked. There was a pause as the information was processed. Then she just whistled. "You're fucked, dude, and not in the good way."

Blake groaned.

"Look, just, why don't you make something more solid? Like, uh….look, just cook some spaghetti. Ruby's bound to have a box or two, and all you have to do is follow the instructions on the back. _Carefully_. And while you're doing that, make cookies! Cookies are simultaneously the easiest and most impressive sweets you can make, so just stick with what's safe, alright?" The blonde reasoned. Blake nodded slowly, feeling like there might be hope after all. "Okay, good, then I'll go grab a box of spaghetti for you and be out of your way. Good luck, Blake."

* * *

Two hours later, Blake felt nervous, but fairly lucky. Her spaghetti had, miraculously, turned out okay! She attributed that to checking the instructions on the box almost religiously. The cookies also turned out pretty good. Well, pretty good, assuming they were supposed to be that color. Chocolate chip cookies were sometimes black, right?

On second thought, maybe she shouldn't mention the cookies.

It was too late to go back to her apartment and fix it now, though, because Blake saw Weiss step out of a car and wave at her. She waved back, put on her best smile, and walked up to take her back to her room. No bow, since she was only stepping out quickly, but Weiss didn't seem to care much, in any case.

"Hello, Blake. You look nice." The heiress greeted, and Blake cracked a grin and nodded sheepishly. She hadn't dressed up very much, so the compliment was actually surprising. The dark-haired girl was just wearing jeans and a jacket with a cat motif that she really only wore ironically because Yang got it for her one year and made a bad pun that, for some reason, she thought was hilarious.

Weiss, on the other hand, was a bit more dressed up. "You look pretty stunning, yourself." Blake replied, checking the outfit again. The shorter girl was dressed in a crisp, white jacket (which probably cost somewhere along the lines of 'more than Blake's life savings'), black scarf and a skirt that, unfortunately, was not as showy as some of Yang's shorts.

"Let's, um, head up to my place now." Blake suggested, not liking where her train of thoughts was leading her.

The heiress nodded and followed. The elevator closest to the front of the lobby was already in use, so they had to take the second one up, and, once they had gotten onto her floor, Blake saw Velvet waiting by that one. She waved, and the rabbit faunus all but jumped.

Blake raised an eyebrow. Why was Velvet so surprised? She'd have to find out later.

"Okay, so mine is right over here –" She started, then stopped in her tracks. "Wait, why is the door open?" Cautiously, she moved towards it, with Weiss following behind looking curious, and then….they were hit with a flying projectile known as Ruby Rose.

The red-clad girl was booking it, carrying what looked to be a tray of – hey, those were her cookies!

Before Blake even got the chance to say anything, another small projectile had been launched. "Stop, theif!" Oh my god Weiss tackled Ruby.

Ohhhhh my god.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! GET OFF ME!" Ruby squeaked, as Blake came running over to the scene. Weiss had pinned the younger girl down and was giving her a venomous look. The charred cookies were scattered across the floor and, after a closer assessment, on Weiss'…..jacket. Her _white_ jacket. Oh god. Meanwhile, Ruby was still screaming. " BLAKE MAKE HER GET OFF ME I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOOOUUUU!"

"Quick, call the police on this scoundrel!" Weiss demanded, still struggling to keep her pinned. "Ruffian!"

Blake sighed deeply. "Okay, let's all just take a second to breathe." She suggested. Seeing Weiss' scowling look, she explained. "Ruby has a key to my apartment in case of emergencies. While that doesn't let her off the hook for being there, it also means I can't legally get her in that much trouble for it, since I did give her the key. I know where she sleeps, so you don't have to worry about her running out on us, Weiss. She can't."

Ruby swallowed nervously, as Weiss got up and glared at her, and Blake continued. "Now I need to know why you were in my apartment, and why you took the cookies I had in the oven."

The girl took a deep breath, and, in the background, Velvet slowly slipped back into their own apartment, regardless of the pleading look that her girlfriend sent her. Blake heard a muffled sorry before the girl dashed into the other apartment.

"Okay, so, Yang said that you were gonna make spaghetti and also cookies for your date tonight but she also told me to make stuff for backup in case you messed up again like you did with the mashed potatoes earlier today so I did make the backup stuff and then when you went downstairs to greet Weiss I went in to make sure that you didn't mess up on the stuff and to replace it in case you did," She rambled in explanation.

"Oka-" Blake started to interrupt, but was quickly cut off with the rest of it.

"And I saw your cookies and I was all 'That's a travesty they're so burnt this isn't even edible!' so I replaced them and had Velvet stand guard by the elevator to tell me when you came and," A deep breath, "You guys came from a different elevator and I didn't expect it and I saw you getting ready to come in so I tried to run, and, and, and, and then she tackles me for trying to be a good wingman!" Ruby sniffed.

Sheesh, talk about information overload. It took her a second to piece the explanation together in a coherent way, but eventually…. "So what you're saying is, Yang put you up to this."

A frantic nod. Blake sucked in a deep breath of her own. "Apologize to her, and clean up the mess in the hall. I'll deal with you after my date." She sighed.

Weiss had taken in the explanation as well, but she still looked pretty pissed with Ruby. For her part, Ruby tried to apologize without wetting herself. "I-I, um, I'm r-reaaaalllly sorry, um, errr…..Blake's girlfriend! I didn't mean it! I just wanted to m-make s-sure your, um, date, didn't get r-ruined…."

The heiress rubbed her temples, like she was going to have a headache. "Blake."

"Yes?" She asked hesitantly.

"Let's just get inside and have dinner."

"Good idea."

Five minutes later, they were at the table with too much spaghetti (Ruby had apparently left her 'backup' just in case) and an awkward silence. Blake grimaced at the realization, and fiddled with her fingers while she tried to think of a way out of it. "So…..I'm sorry about Ruby earlier." She tried.

Weiss gave a deep sigh in response. "She stained my jacket." Ouch. Shit, this date was going down the drain fast – "But there might be a way you can make it up to me."

The taller girl perked up, though she was a little confused. "There is?"

She nodded. "Tell me more about yourself." She instructed, glancing away for a moment. "You can start with how you know that burnt cookie thief, if you like."

Blake blinked, surprised with the suggestion, but not opposed to it. "Sure, I guess, if you want to hear it. I uh, really don't think I'm that interesting."

Weiss was still avoiding eye contact, but if Blake was right – and she _hoped_ she was right – she was sporting a little bit of a blush. "Well you probably aren't," Oww? "But it's interesting to me." She concluded. "It's…nice, to hear about stuff that isn't business related, sometimes."

Awww. That was probably a compliment, even if Weiss wasn't aware she was giving it. Blake just nodded her agreement, and tried to pick a place to start. "Makes sense. So, you wanted to hear about how I know Ruby, right? I'm really good friends with her older sister – you'll probably meet her sometime, if you hang around long enough. She tends to get excited about new people."

"As 'excited' as her sister?" Weiss asked cautiously. Blake nodded, and the heiress stifled a groan.

It was too funny not to laugh, a little. "I know, I know. But Ruby really didn't mean to do anything but help. There's probably not a mean bone in her body, y'know? She was trying to make sure I didn't get food poisoning from my own cooking." Weiss seemed doubtful, so Blake got up and wandered over to the oven – where Ruby said she'd left the cookies she made – and took them out. They looked….well, they definitely looked better than Blake's. Why could Ruby bake and not her?!

While she had a moment of internal frustration, Weiss had gotten up to look at the cookies for herself, and took one off the tray. "Not bad….." Well shit, she wasn't about to be left out. These cookies were for both of them, after all. Blake set it down and took one of her own.

…Again, Why could Ruby bake and not her?! And more importantly, why did she take everyone else's cookies if this was what _she_ made?

Weiss seemed to have been placated on the topic of Ruby, for now anyways, so Blake decided to press her luck and ask her a question. "So, I told you about Ruby, do you have any good friends worth mentioning? I'll admit to being a little curious about who you hang out with." Curious and nervous.

"Hmmm….." Weiss thought about the question. And then she thought about it a little longer.

And longer.

"Um…if it's that hard, you don't have to –" Blake started, feeling embarrassed, but she was quickly cut off.

"I guess there's Coco and Neptune. They're both my friends, I think." _Think?_ Is that healthy?

Blake tried to divert her attention from the staggeringly low number, and just hope there were more that she didn't bring up. "What are they like?"

Weiss 'hmmmmmmed' again. "Coco is loud and determined to hang out with me, and Neptune is an ex that stuck around for the long haul. They're both nice people – _especially _as far as anyone I've met at conferences. I remember one time, Coco walked in, insulted my uncle's outfit, and _left_." Weiss giggled, and Blake suddenly wanted to hear way more about Coco. "I was pretty jealous of her that day."

"She sounds fun. I'll have to meet her sometime – after checking my outfit a few times." She teased, and Weiss snickered.

"Definitely." She looked down for a moment, and then frowned when she saw the stain on her jacket. "Ugh, I forgot about that. What am I going to do when I get into the cab to get home?"

Blake tipped her head to the side, trying to think of a solution. It _was_ kind of her fault, after all. In a really complicated, convoluted sort of way. "Hmm…..you can take mine, if that's any good."

She looked like she was about to say no, but then she glanced at the jacket, then up at Blake, then at the jacket again. "….Is sharing clothes like….a couple thing?"

"Yeah, sometimes. You don't have to if you don't want."

Weiss sheepishly agreed to take the jacket. Blake grinned and took it off for her, wondering if she should do that thing Yang did where she 'accidentally' lifted the shirt a little to show off her abs. '_I mean, I do work hard to stay fit. Is a little showing off that bad?'_ She thought, even though it was basically already too late to back out. It proved to be the right decision anyways, because Weiss was a nice shade of red when she took the jacket.

Score one for Belladonna.

"If you've got a little time, we could watch a movie or something before you go home." She suggested. Weiss nodded and took a seat on the couch. There wasn't much cuddling throughout the movie like Blake had kind of hoped there would be, but they held hands at some point, which she took as a victory.

Soon enough, though, Weiss had to get back home, and Blake saw her off at the door to the lobby.

"Oh, and, one last thing…." Weiss started, moving back over to the taller girl. Blake was about to ask if she forgot her purse or something at her apartment, but was (pleasantly) surprised to receive a kiss from the girl. "Thanks for the date – and the jacket."

Flustered, she stammered out her response to nothing, because Weiss had already stepped into the cab that was waiting. "N-no problem."

Blake went back up to her floor and walked into Ruby's apartment. "Hey, Ruby."

"Y-yeah?" She asked nervously, recalling Blake's promise to 'deal with her' after the date.

"Thanks for dumping my cookies all over Weiss."

A pause.

"Blake, you're weird sometimes." Ruby snickered, equal parts relieved to be off the hook and happy that she'd helped somehow.

Blake just smiled. This wasn't as hard as she thought it would be.

* * *

**AN: Protip: Don't celebrate three chapters in, Blake. Haha, but, joking aside, this took me a while to put up. I had maybe half of it done for a really long time, but I felt like I should've updated my other story first (which has proven to be hard as hell apparently). And then I realized it's the internet and literally nobody cares, and that I should just update the one I _can_ write for. So I'm going to get back in the game, with this story, at least. Sorry for the wait! Also, sidenote, I still dislike the title. It might change if I can ever figure out what the hell I want to call this story. Thanks for reading, tell me if you've got any comments/criticisms, all that stuff!**


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